September Reflection

I always feel like September is a time for reflection. Everyone’s back to school, back to work and summer is slowly coming to an end. For me, September often feels like a whole month of that Monday morning feeling. It’s that time of year we’re I start hating everything I put on and wanting to burn everything in my wardrobe because the weather gets to that awkward point where it’s getting colder but not cold enough for autumn or winter clothes yet. When all I want to wear is trackies and hoodies because I’m not feeling so good about the body I’m in after a six week plus summer but at the same time wanting to get fit even though I haven’t at all mustered up the courage to go to the gym yet.

We’re currently about three weeks into September and all I’ve wanted is a clean slate with new projects and fresh ideas yet so far this month, that’s what I feel like I’ve been lacking. After 13  weeks of summer and absolutely zero structure, I thought I’d start at college and everything would change and I would snap back into routine. This hasn’t at all been the case. So far, even in lessons I feel like I’m just floating around waiting for something for something to happen. Then I go home and it’s more of the same. I sit in my room thinking about what there is I could be doing but really there’s nothing, work hasn’t started yet and I find that three hours later I find myself sat in the same position feeling the same way I did when I got home: slightly at a loss.

Although I’m sitting here writing and complaining about having nothing to do, the truth is that even when something does come up, I don’t even have the energy or motivation to do it. Everything just seems blah and meh and tired and dull. I’m in huge need of some sort of excitement or just some enthusiasm for something. A project, is what I need but it’s carrying it out and seeing it through that’s the part that makes you feel good. Like you’ve accomplished something. So I feel like it has to be really worth it to start one, otherwise you’re back where you started – looking to find something to do. Something that feels rewarding I suppose. I think this is where the reflection bit comes in. If I’m honest up until now I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this post but what I’m trying to say now is that I feel like September is the time for us to turn around and have a look at what we want or maybe more what we feel we might need. But again, at the moment I can’t really work out what that is. So maybe September isn’t so much for starting projects but instead for planning them and for making space for them.

Clear out your wardrobe, use your time to do what you want before it gets hectic and you wish you’d taken a step back whilst you had the chance. Start a journal, find a creative outlet, meet new people, they might become new connections. Remenis over summer memories but plan ahead and slot in new things to be excited about. Get ready for what’s coming next, even if you’re not sure what that is yet x

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